Raising the Alarm on Anti-Harm
September 28, 2026
As a Doula, I’ve made it my purpose to support those that are struggling, and to step in to help when that struggling turns into suffering. But I’ve felt my support wane and my voice soften to silence over the past few years as I’ve needed all of my strength and resolve to fight a 3.5 year legal battle against a former friend, a 2.5 year legal battle against the person I was married to for 20.5 years, and to heal from a sexual assault in 2022 that left me fighting for my life. In the midst of this fight for my life (an emergency surgery to repair internal damage, followed by a five day hospital stay when I turned septic), I was simultaneously being told by law enforcement that this assault/crime can’t be proven enough to warrant criminal charges, and injury attorneys were telling me that they wouldn’t take this as a civil case. The final attorney I called to ask for representation let me know what the other attorneys weren’t bold enough to speak: “It would have been better if this happened in a hotel room because hotels have insurance that we could have gone after.” Noted… for next time. 🙄🖕🏼
My work as a Doula has been fulfilling and an alignment with my soul, but—along with what I was experiencing above—I couldn’t do the Doula work I wanted while enduring labwork and imaging that had continued from my 2021 breast cancer diagnosis. I needed Medicaid to cover cancer expenses, which meant that I needed to keep my client list low. But while my client list was low enough to have Medicaid pay for my medical bills, it was too low to pay my other bills. So I made the decision to go back to a full time job that also provided medical insurance. However, my passion to continue doing Doula work has never diminished.
My journey over the past six years has nearly destroyed me, numerous times. I experienced too many betrayals to count, amidst lies and gaslighting from those I previously trusted with all of me, along with avoidance of responsibility and consequence for those that created and perpetuated harm. This world felt built for exalting the perpetrator, and sabotaging those that the perpetrators sought to destroy. But… I didn’t give up. The little 7 year old within me that first spoke out against the harm and loss of innocence she experienced deserved someone to fight for justice, and to speak out against harm, for the first time in her life.
This year marks an end to my legal war.
I won two of the three legal cases.
The sexual assault case was a battle that I didn’t feel equipped (emotionally or financially) to fight against. The countless headlines over the past decade have reinforced my decision to drop this case of sexual assault against four white men that played football in the Navy. And because of several factors, including receiving an apology from these four men, I’ve felt at peace in letting it go in 2024.
But the numerous and recent headlines about girls in college being gang-raped and the men responsible that receive minimal—to no—discipline is creating a tsunami within me… add in a vortex of rage that I feel about what is happening in Gaza/Palestine and my desire to #FreePalestine… I’m unable to stay silent any longer.
Without the crippling load of legal hell I was experiencing, and after recently returning home—ALIVE AND AWAKE—from an IVAT (Institute on Violence, Abuse, & Trauma) Conference, I now feel emboldened to go back to my “regularly scheduled program” of anti-racism, anti-rape, and in lifting up anyone that feels crushed under the weight of abusive power dynamics.
In timely fashion, and after over a year away from taking on a Doula client, a dear friend asked me to be her labor Doula for her May 2026 delivery. That experience was monumental in giving me back the confidence and joy I seek to support others as a Doula, to remind those struggling that there is hope, and to remind those suffering of the strength they have within.
Thank you for your patience, it feels good to be back. 💚
